Pick up the nearest book to you. Turn to page 45. The first sentence describes your sex life in 2012.
"It smelled like moss and oak and the damp dark spaces of the Wood beyond the meadow."
I'm just glad I was sitting on the side of the bed I was when I decided to do this, because if I was on the other, the closest book was a math textbook :S Although discussing exponents could have implied good things I guess?
Also, depending on my energy levels, I may be posting podfic meta soon.