Paraka (paraka) wrote,
Paraka
paraka

Quotes

Ok, so scatterheart just made a post asking for certain quotes, which had me digging through the draft I have saved of quotes I like. So I thought I'd share what I have (most of these were compiled by raxhel and then sent to me). Anyone want to add some?

(on one of the signs carried by one of the 500 or so protesters who showed up on Coronado Island to give Bush a hard time):

"Bombing for peace is like fcuking for virginity."

~~~

Okay when the bad guys have more morals then you do...that's a bad sign, isn't it?
-Anita, "A Night to Remember" (Anita fic)

~~~

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov

~~~~

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-Thomas Alva Edison

~~~~

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. No use being a damn fool about it.
- W.C. Fields

~~~~

Deny, deny, deny. It was dark; anyone could have been on that horse.
- Unknown

~~~~~

When 25 percent of the population believe that the president should be impeached and 51 percent believe in UFO's, you may or may not need a new president, but you definitely need a new population.
-Unknown (from strangeplaces.net)

~~~

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit.
-In the August 1993 issue, page 9, of PS magazine, the Army's magazine of preventive maintenance/

~~~

All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you. Therefore, if you can't get them together again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not use a hammer.
-IBM maintenance manual, 1925

~~~

"Yes sir, ma'am!" Barashkukor slammed a salute. "Please, ma'am, permission to designate this squad Black Squad?"
"No!" She rattled a sheaf of papers under Barashkukor's pointed nose.
"We already have fifteen Black Squads, twelve Dark Squads, four Raven Squads, three Midnight Squads, one Sable Squad, one Ebony Squad, and," she consulted a sheet of paper, "one Pink Squad. Hmm. Yes. Well...we're all a little worried about Pink Squad..."
-Unknown (from strangeplaces.net)/

~~~

...most SF writers are small blokes; they spent a lot of time grubbing around on the floor for old SF mags, not stretching up to the top shelf for pornography...As an aside, Douglas Adams is quite tall
-Terry Pratchett

~~~

"Pope John Paul today confirmed his opposition to gay marriages. Said that they are unnatural. Gay marriages are unnatural. Then he put on a pointy hat, his dress, and returned to never having sex at all."
-Bill Maher, Politically Incorrect

~~~

Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.
-Good Omens (with Neil Gaiman)

~~~

"There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all."
-Oscar Wilde

~~~

"Well, yes. But I'm still insulted, dammit! I have feelings." He got blank, incredulous stares from all sides. "I could have feelings," he added peevishly. "If I wanted to, I could." -
Draco Malfoy the Amazing Bouncing Rat, by Maya

~~~

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
-Douglas Adams

~~~

"Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for the love of it, then you do it for a few friends, and finally you do it for money."
-Moliere

~~~

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
-Anon

~~~

The universe, she is a bitch.
-Norman Maclean

~~~

"We should fight back! An eye for and eye -- a tooth for a tooth!"
"Good. That way the whole world will be blind and toothless."
-Tevye???

~~~

"I like hearing myself talk. It is one of my greatest pleasures. I often have long conversations all by myself, and I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
-Oscar Wilde

~~~

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
-Albert Einstein

~~~

In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back... past their "White House". Then we burned it... and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon Makenzie who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied... Go figure.
-Unknown

~~~

"We are all in the gutters, but some of us are looking at the stars."
-Oscar Wilde

~~~

Never argue with a fool; he may be doing the same thing.
-Anon.

~~~

"Duct tape is like the force: it has a dark side, a light side, and it binds the galaxy together."
-Unknown

~~~

Never give up, never surrender.
-Galaxy Quest

~~~

The problem with defending the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.
-James D. Nicoll

~~~

No matter where you go in life, there's a bloodthirsty Dragon waiting for you.
-Kate (a friend of raxhel

~~~

No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulders will severely cramp his style.
- Steven Brust (Jhereg (215))

~~~

"True heroics must be carefully planned -- and strenuously avoided."
(67). http://world.std.com/~mam/Cracks-and-Shards/contentsV.html[1]

~~~

"Nine times out of ten a hero is someone who is tired enough, cold enough, and hungry enough not to give a damn. I don't give a damn!"
-Hawkeye Pierce "The Sniper"

~~~

"A day without blood and gore is like a day without sunshine. "
-Unknown

~~~

Panic, disorder, chaos. My work here is done.
-Unknown

~~~

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.
... The Russians used a pencil.

~~~

"I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability."
-Oscar Wilde

~~~

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
-"Last Chance to See" Douglas Adams

~~~

Every piece of paper has two good sides... Unless you use magic marker -then you're fucked.
- http://hometown.aol.com/stormoverstorm44/myhomepage/profile.html[2]

~~~

"Anyone who has ever said cheaters never prosper, obviously never played Monopoly."
-Charlie Kenna

~~~

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.
-Irving Caesar

~~~

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups
-Jessica Parcells

~~~

"You've just witnessed an example of what I like to call misdirected rage. I believe the technical term is 'being an ass'."
–Shigure Sohma, Fruits Basket Vol. 1

~~~

The odds are good, but the goods are odd
-Anonymous (someone's sister, a physics major commenting on the number of men in her classes and their dateability)

~~~

"I accidentally slept with a prostitute."
" Accidentally? I don't understand... did you trip over something?"
-The West Wing

~~~

I am both amused and annoyed that you think I would be less stubborn than you
-House, House M.D.

~~~

There's no 'I' in 'team', but there is a 'me'... if you switch some of the letters around
-House, House M.D.

~~~

No, you're wrong. Just stand there in your wrongness and be wrong.
-Jed Bartlet - The West Wing

~~~

I didn't take some of the enzyme, I took a lot of the enzyme
-Rodney McKay in the Hive.

~~~

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are
-Unknown

~~~

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished
-Unknown

~~~

"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus
handicapped." – Elbert Hubbard

~~~

"The web is a dominatrix. Every where I turn, I see little buttons
ordering me to Submit." –Nytwind

~~~

"You can tease me, tickle me and do anything you want to me
just...keep that cow away from me!" - Lady Valmar

~~~

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
-Unknown

~~~

"The best armor is to keep out of range."
-Italian Proverb

~~~

Change is inevitable; progress is optional.
-Unknown

~~~

"It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place."
-H.L. Mencken

~~~

"Keyboard not found. Press < F1 > to RESUME. "
- Source unknown (appears in many common BIOSes as a real error message)

~~~

Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing."
-Dick Brandon

~~~

"If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in."
-Edsger Dijkstra

~~~

"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents."
-Nathaniel Borenstein

~~~

"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
-Emo Phillips

~~~

"If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em."
-Harry Truman (1884-1972)

~~~

"Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot."
-Unknown

~~~

"Bugs are Sons of Glitches!"
-Uknown

~~~

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock."
-Unknown

~~~

Charlie: Drugs! Get me drugs!
Alan: No. Medication will only mask the pain.
Charlie: Fine, mask it! Give it a cape and let it fight crime, I don't give a damn!
-Two and a Half Men

~~~~

Salt Lake City, UT Mayor Rocky Anderson said that

"The Alliance Defense Fund should not be called Christian. I don't
see much Christian about discriminating against people on the basis of
sexual orientation. I don't think they should smear Christianity by
the use of that name."

in remarks to the Salt Lake Tribune.
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